Sunday, 5 August 2012

My Weight Journey

Recently, two bloggers Sandra and Sophia have teamed up to create a blog named Bloggers Go Skinny to motivate themselves and others to lose weight by documenting helpful and sensible tips that promote healthy weight loss. Reading their blog has gotten me thinking about my own weight, and my own opinions of it.

As a child I was always a tad on the chubbier side. I have one sister, and growing up there was a very noticeable difference between us, she was (and still is) very slender, while I've accepted now that I will never be her size. I noticed this difference from a very early age as many family members would refer to my sister as "skinny" and myself as "slim" - even as a pre-teen I knew the difference; I was bigger than my sister. This realisation led to me being insecure about my weight from a very young age. I watch documentaries about children under 10 suffering from anorexia, and while my friends gasp in shock and horror - although I was never any where near that stage, I can relate to those children. 

When I was around 9 years old I took up dancing, and a lot of my weight disappeared - mainly puppy fat. As I grew older and started wearing actual dress sizes (rather than aged 11 etc. clothes) I swayed between a 6 and an 8 until I was around 17, and I positively loved my body!
Myself aged 16 (left) and 17 (right)
I was between the ages of 17 and 18 when I began putting the weight back on. Now here is where I feel I should explain myself a bit before I attract some displeased commenters. As it is now, I am a size 8 on top, 10 on bottom and I have a BMI of 23, which is just within the healthy category. To other's I may be perceived as a perfectly healthy weight, and people may question my unhappiness, but I think that a lot of girls feel the way I do, and that writing about these perceptions we have about ourselves can be a healthy outlet. When I look in the mirror I do *not* like what I see. At my heaviest, I was a size 10 on top, 12 on bottom and around 140 pounds, which may not sound like a lot, but for a 5" 4 girl with a very slim sister, it certainly felt a lot to me. Don't get me wrong, I know that weight can be a very sensitive topic, and I do not want to hurt anyone with this post - this is just giving you an insight to the inner-workings of my perception of myself, no one else. 
Myself aged 18
When I started university in 2010, let's just say that the Freshers 15 hit me hard! The Freshers 15 is a phrase amongst new uni students that basically highlights the trend that the average new student will gain 15 pounds whilst in their first year (whilst being a Fresher). As you can see there is a definite weight difference between the two sets of pictures. Although I was still an average size 10/12, it was a far cry from my old 6/8! Even as I'm writing this post I feel a pang of worry as to what comments I can expect from this, but one of the reasons of writing this is to remove the taboo from the topic of being unhappy with your weight if technically/medically you are average-sized. A lot of what contributed to this weight were also bad romantic situations (which I may delve into in another post), as I am a big comfort eater. If ever I am down or upset and no one's around to cheer me up, I will shamelessly order myself a take away, or grab the nearest multi-bag of crisps and eat my way through them all! Another thing that contributed to the weight gain is my lack of self-control. The phrase "eyes bigger than your belly" *definitely* applies to me, and even if I have too much food for myself and my stomach is full to the brim, I will probably continue eating until I have finished everything on my plate, regardless of any full/sick feeling afterwards!

Myself in 2012, aged 20
Recently I have discovered the power and importance of exercising. Instead of doing my usual moping in front of the mirror and despising all my tight clothes but doing nothing about it, my best friend and I set out on a fitness plan until we could get to the point where we could quite happily do 100 crunches in a row. It took around 3 weeks of religious sets of crunches every night, but we finally got there, and the feeling of pride when we did was incredible! On top of this, I also bought a bicycle to cycle to uni and back on, and take my puppy for morning and evening walks up a steep hill. All of this activity has led me away from the unhappy, 18 year old me, and feeling better than ever. I know this is preached every where, but my one tip would be: never under estimate the power of a frequent exercise - even if it's just taking the dog for a walk each day, slowly but surely you will see a difference.

I am a ridiculous yo-yo dieter, and my weight fluctuates more frequently than I change my wardrobe, so I know for sure this isn't a permanent thing, but I'm certainly liking this lifestyle for now. What are your weight journeys and body hang-ups? Let's share this journey together!


  1. This was such an amazing post, I read every word haha :) I think you're a very beautiful girl and you look great in all these pictures but I can understand why you have written this post and its great to know that YOU are now happy with the weight you are, because at the end of the day, its your own opinion and perception of your body that matters, not everyone elses!

    Thank you so much for writing this, its given me a bit to think about my own weight/body etc :)

    Laura xx

    1. Thanks :) I'm glad its gotten such a positive response so far as I was really worried what people would think of it! I'm glad to have spurred you on :)

  2. Thank you! I'm so glad that you've wrote this about being an average weight and still being unhappy. Even when I was 9 stone (a normal weight) I still felt overweight thought this could be down to to me being 5ft. I am posting about my own weight loss but I am going to focus on inches and dress size, not weight because I've seen that since I have started exercising regularly, I've not really lost much weight, but I have lost a lot of inches!

    Good luck on your journey my dear :) xx

    1. That's the same as me! The exercise has really just toned up my body, and instead of losing pounds, I've been replacing the fat with muscle so that what I see in the mirror just looks a bit better than it did before, I can't wait to read yours!

  3. I think it great you wrote about this it is really helpful!

  4. this is a great post and helped me a lot! I've always been a comfortable size 10 and have been happy with that as I'm fairly tall, but I havent been well this year and the medication I've been on has made me put on quite a bit of weight, so now I'm nearer a size 12, and trying on clothes last week whilst packing was very depressing! it may not sound like a big size to other people but I've certainly noticed a difference, particularly with my stomach, and I hate it! I'm so glad you have pointed out that even though other people say you should be happy, that can't change how you feel about yourself!
    i'm trying to exercise more regularly to tone up and lose this 'excess' weight, and this has encouraged me to keep going! thankyou :)
    nicola xxx

    1. Thanks, I'm so glad to have helped! I always find that its a bit of an awkward topic if you complain about your weight/size when really you are average and healthy, but no matter what the scales say it doesn't change what you see in yourself! I really just wanted to put that topic out there and challenge peoples views a bit.

  5. You know, even when you were at the slightly higher weight you wore the curves extremely well.
    Sounds like you understand the right balance now and if you're exercising enough and eating the right things, that will give you a better shape than any yo-yo diet could.

  6. great post and thanks for the mention. You are gorgeous no matter what weight you are!!! I think I will put last the picture of you on my fridge as inspiration :) haha

    Exercising and eating healthy are the only way to lose weight! But once I am done with the weight loss I need to keep the healthy lifestyle for life!

    1. Haha thanks for the compliment and checking out my post! I am *loving* Bloggers Go Skinny! I'm the same, my issue is sticking to the healthy lifestyle!

  7. My weight has rocketed this year. I've been very ill and been on steriods and couldn't exercised. But now I'm motivated, mainly with the Olympics, to get back to me :)


  8. I thought this was a great post. I'm also a big emotional eater and eat far too much than I need to, and I can't stop! Maybe I'll try doing crunches every night and see if it works for me :) I really need motivation to go back to the gym (which I'm paying for already!)x

  9. This is such a great and inspiring and empowering post doll. Keep up the great job because you're looking absolutely gorgeous.

    PS. Thank you for your lovely comment on my blog and would love to follow each other if you like. Hope to hear from you soon.

    <3 Marina
    Enter my GIVEAWAY to Win A Pair of Gorgeous Colorblocking Wedges

  10. I am a size 8 but more on the skinny side and I feel like I have a body of a 12 year old. Sometimes people dont understand that although people may see your weight as "fine/healthy" you actually feel really uncomfortable and not confident about it so I'm glad someone else actually understands. I think you looked great in all your pics, I would die to have a body like yours (honestl) Your really pretty too. Glad your happy now! You've also inspired me not to keep looking in the mirror feeling sorry for myself haha and actually go out and make the change :)


    p.s - Your GB Nails in your other post are wicked! I love the way you've really thought about it and put the gold,silver, bronze nails in too! super cuteee